Thursday, March 27, 2008

My secret wish

A while back my friend Jenny posted about her secret desire to be a princess, coveting the ability to "break into song at any moment of the day" while "hundreds of tiny animals heed her call. They clean the house with her as she sings along."

Then Deborah responded that "Princess life is too high profile---scratchy dresses, smiling all the time, the need to have perfect hair." She prefered the Fairy Godmother gig. "Fairy godmothers show up, fix the problem, and then they go home and change back into their sweats. All the glory, no long term commitment."

But I've decided they're both wrong. Hi-diddlee-dee, the wicked witch for me. Princess life is too passive. All that waiting around for Prince Charming to show up, worrying about high heels and curfews. And Fairy Godmothers? What glory? Design the dress, enchant the pumpkin, bake the cake, warn her that princes aren't all they're cracked up to be. And does the princess ever listen? Sure she says she's grateful, but we all know what she's thinking. "What a frump. Once those pumpkin keys are in my hand, I'm outta here."

Now the wicked witch, on the other hand, there's a woman who knows where she's going. Don't let those petty obstacles slow you down--blast them out of your way. Stride forward, confident in your abilities, knowing exactly what you want. Think of Maleficent--rhymes with "magnificent" not "malevolent"--by the way. Simple tailored wardrobe (who doesn't look good in black), a few trusted associates (none of those hangers-on hoping for cushy palace jobs once the prince shows up), and historic living accommodations. What's not to like?

6 comments:

Jenny said...

Of course, you would choose the wickedest of them all!

Just remember, there are no happily ever afters for the witch. All she ends up with is a dagger through the heart.

(BTW, Aurora's dress was blue!)

Grandma H said...

You always did love the antagonists - I can't figure that out, coming from me. Just don't cast me as the wicked stepmother queen!

whales wagner said...
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whales wagner said...
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Unknown said...

Sadly it's true, my wife has always wanted to be the wicked witch. Even worse on the Harry Potter questionnaire I was most like Voldemort (go figure). I mean really, I'm not even human, I'm a shapeshifting dragon, and I've been controlling her mind for years (don't tell her that though). Although sometimes I get the sneaking suspicion she's controlling my mind . . . wait, all is fuzzy . . . kristen good, i mean kristen pretty wicked witch

D&E said...

Classic.

Between the three of us, we could be the entire show.