Because I'm me...

And I'm mean.

And I truly lay awake at night thinking of more ways to make my children's lives unpleasant.

And, as my father used to say, "I didn't have kids so I could wash my own car..."

And I was tired of making idle threats. It was time for real threats!

And so

I introduced

the penalty job.

Now when the kids act up, it's just like being a hockey ref. Into the penalty box. The jobs are written on index cards and hang on the fridge. They take a card, spend 5 minutes in baseboard-cleaning penance, then move the card to the back of the stack. Instant lesson learned, and my walls get washed. Most of the jobs are ones I rarely get to (washing door frames and light switches, scrubbing cabinet fronts, cleaning the kitchen chairs). I even make them show me the used wipes as proof they actually got some dirt off.